Feeling Yourself and My Story

Hiya Guys 

So today many people are looked at because of there weight or how beautiful they are and that is just not right. Many people feel that because people are judging them that they should change and today i wanted to write about it. 

Models are what every girl wishes they could be like because they are skinny and beautiful , it's sometimes okay to think like that because nearly every women or girl probably thinks that but some get carried away and stop eating which is not good or get obsessed with exercising ! Just because they look that way doesn't mean that you, that's who they are and you are a totally different person, if you don't feel good about yourself and feel that your not yourself  for example you want to lose the fat off your stomach then change what your eating and exercise but be careful and don't go to the full extent, it is not that hard but drive yourself mad about being that person everyone will love. 

If you don't think your beautiful and you hate the way you look then STOP!!!! No matter what everyone is beautiful , the way you look is the way your are born and you just can't change that. You have to embrace your beautifulness because if you don't then you are just going to round living your life in doubt and disbelief. People can't judge you on what you look like because they have to get to know you from your inner beauty. Yes makeup and all cosmetics might make you feel better about your face but you have to remember that under there is the true the one that everyone loves. Your beauty is what makes you different and unique, you just have to feel it. 

Anyone who is reading is probably thinking what the hell does she know she hasn't been through something like that. Well............ i have, not to the point where i cut myself and stop eating because i can't take being th way i am but i have felt like i am not beautiful and that everyone keeps looking at me because i'm fat. Today i am going to tell you my short story, it might not be insteresting to you but i just want to share and i'm sorry if your bored because of how much writing i do but this is what i love doing and when i have inspiration to write about something i just can't stop. 

My Story 

It started when i was 11 i was looking at holiday photos from Greece and there was one with me in my bikini and i looked at , stared at it and thought i'm fat however i kept going on with my year 7 life until i got to year 8.
When i was in year 8 i kept looking the mirror and saying there is nothing wrong with the way i look everyday i would say that because i felt fine and good about myself, but then more photos would come out and i started thinking about how i was fat and i did nothing about it. I did start to eat healthy and walk more but that didn't do anything and then i was saying that's why no boys like me because i'm not good looking or fit as i they would say. It all hit me.

On May  half term 2012 me and my family went to Cornwall and the Eden Project, when we went to Eden Project we took pictures and on that day i was looking at them and that thought came in my head  'FAT' and i carried on and i breathed in on some photos. I still just carried on with life with that thought just swirling round in my head. Now it's 2013 and i noticed it bad, to me i would say that i had some sort of depression because i was always down and i would just put on a fake smile when i go school and home, i would just look in the mirror and hate what i see and i got really shy that i normally am, i would just go up to my room and listen to my music and then come down for tea and just before i go to bed. One of the worse things i did was i kept it all from my parents i didn't want to tell them because they would just say that i'm not fat and beautiful the way i am which is something i didn't believe in. Times would go by and sometimes when my parents and sister went out, i was would just burst out crying because i knew that i wasn't myself and i didn't feel good but while i was doing this i did start to change what i was eating. Carrying on...... i began to have thoughts of not eating because it will get to me to where i want to be and it will give me a slim body but my best friend Lilli helped get me through that one plus i had the thoughts of cutting myself on the wrists , i even got a plastic ruler and started to give myself starches on the wrist but they would go after a minute ( i never told my parents about that bit) i stopped thinking them thoughts because if i wanted to feel happy about myself then that wasn't the route to go to.

It was the weekend and i was down about myself and i wanted to tell my mom because i wanted her help and support, i never liked speaking to people about problems and i sort of don't know but thanks to the technology of today i sent her an email explaining how i feel and it also helped that my mom was starting a diet plan called Slimmers world so i knew she could help me. Anyway she received the email when we got home and i was petrified of what she was going to say,  i wasn't even going to go downstairs, she came up and she explained that i am not fat and yes she will help me healthy and let me joined a gym. I started to eat healthy and we found a gym in our local area but the man wasn't well so he couldn't give a introduction to all the equipment so i did some jogging on the Wii fit weeks went past i did started to feel good about myself then privately in the bathroom i went on the scales and it all started again. It felt like nothing was happening like my mother had gave up on helping which i know she never did and that eating healthy wasn't working either. I began crying again and always in a bad mood, i wanted to tell my mom and dad what i was feeling, i wrote them a letter this time saying that i feel fat and nothing you can say will change that and that i have fat thighs, i gave my mom the letter, she read and she signed me up for the gym and i have never felt more happy so also told me that i'm not fat and that my thighs aren't either it's just the way they were built and i will just have to accept that. 

So to this moment i have been eating healthy with having a few bad foods but hey that's life and i got the introduction to the gym but i haven't been going because of the heat and my parents work  ( i know rubbish excuse) however i do exercise i run for 10 mins on the Wii, i do squats and heel raises and i have 2 apps on my iPhone- app workout and leg workout. I do still have these moments where i feel i haven't made progress and i'm fat but i tell myself that i am not. 

All i am going to say is that if you feel good about yourself and its the people around that don't like they way you look or who you are then they are going to have to except it because its who you are and you won't change because they don't like you. I do hope that if you are going through something like this that this helps you. :) Just keep smiling :D 

If you have been through something like this, it's up to you but it would be nice to tell me in the comments or if you want help with it just email at kissntell1001@gmail.com

Enjoy your Day and remember to feell good about yourself 

Kiss n Tell 

(P.S. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, i'm a fast typer and i ramble on a bit)